Get Up! You Got This!

 “Man! The process of healing from a thing is interesting. One day you feel so good and confident. Almost like you can take over the world. The next day you feel like a ton of bricks fell on you while you were sleeping. It’s crazy how that is. This is the part I was afraid of. The pain that you feel. The up and down days. The best way to overcome it is to go through it. Right now I just feel really sad and confused. I feel like everything is all my fault. I’m questioning everything. Like what could I have done to make things better. Did I truly make him feel like he wasn’t a priority? Did I really make him feel like he was undeserving? Was I a manipulator? Was I selfish? Was I incapable of loving? Did I truly know how to love? All of those things were the things that he said about me. In this moment I don’t feel like myself. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize the woman stirring back at me. I’m over weight for me but can’t get myself up to go to the gym. I LOVE THE GYM!!!! but I’m hurting and don’t know how to get out of my way. I don’t know the words to say in prayer that will make this anxiety and sadness go away. But I know that I will get through this. I have faith. I just have to set my mind on doing whatever it is I’m trying/wanting to do. Sure that’s easier said than done but I know I can accomplish it”. (How I felt last weekend)

My topic for today is………………..break ups/healing. Going through a break is a hard thing to go through. You think that you have failed at something in life, especially if you gave the relationship your all. That could be any relationship whether friendship, family or marriage. It can be hard just making the decision to let it go. For me it was a relationship. It was the hardest decision I had to make. When you love someone you stay and fight right?!? I tried to fight but I had to be completely honest with myself. I didn’t have the capacity to fight. I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t even have the prayers to pray. That broke me completely. How can a person not have the words to pray for someone you love so much? That’s the thing. The very thing that I was trying to pray for was tearing me down. I began to just not feel like myself anymore. I felt like I was trying to conform to the person that he wanted me to be instead of just being happy with being me. I felt like I needed to continue to prove who I was, but if someone doesn’t see you, all of that doesn’t even work. I just didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror.  I was completely stressed out just trying to figure out my life. I felt like I was suffocating. That turned into panic attacks and anxiety. I’m the type of person that falls hard and loves hard. I give all of me. The problem was, I was giving my all to the wrong person. Here’s the thing, when you love someone or something more then God then it’s not going to work. God should be first in any and every relationship that you’re apart of. How do you know how to love on God’s son or  daughter if you can’t even be consistent in your relationship with God?!? God gives us the strategy/blueprint to walk out how to approach a certain situation. For me I began to feel conviction in my heart because I knew that I needed God in my life. I’m the type that just can’t function correctly without Him. Letting go was hard but it was also what I needed to do for my health. My life depended on it. I needed my Father God in my life so that I can be the woman He created me to be. 

As you can see I’m currently going through my healing process. To be honest I was afraid of it. I just didn’t want to feel the pain of it all. But it’s showing me how strong I am and how good God is. I am solely dependent on Him. I’m human so some days are going be hard but I’m taking it day by day. Soon the pain will be a little less and less. I’ll be okay. So if you’re going through or in a similar situation and just don’t have the motivation to take that leap. Let me be that for you. I want you to feel love and joy again. So, get up. Wipe your tears. Put on that brand new outfit that’s hanging in your closet. Fix up your hair and put on that new lipstick you’ve been going back and forth about wearing or hat for the fellas lol. Go outside stand there for a minute and breathe some of the fresh air. Be grateful that God blessed you with another day. Go through the process. Build up your relationship with God. LIVE!!!!!

What are you going to do today to get you out of the funk you’re in? How are you going to maintain it? What has God said about your situation? Feel free to comment. Let’s talk about it!